AMAZING NEWS--New Font of Healing Liquid Found--Forget Lourdes!

It turns out Lourdes is not the only source of healing waters in the world.

Try this.

Healing dog spit--dog kisses work miracles.

Kiss your dog today, and let your dog kiss you back. No, it needn't be on the mouth.

Research indicates that dog owners have lower blood pressure, cholesterol, and stress. Even cats can help people live longer. I know, that is the nicest thing you will hear here about such creatures. Okay, cats are all right. God, please, write me nasty letters. I'll take any reaction I can get.

Friends, thanks for reading. I've heard some nice things about my Sgt. Prestleton and Prince stories. He happens to be on summer hiatus. Stay tuned. The Dog Chronicle execs have promised to renew the show.

Lulu!

Thanks for reading.

Episode 6--Sergeant Prestleton and Prince Go All In for Love--Finally



Why are these two smiling?

 Sergeant Prestleton and his Wonder Dog Prince sat around the campfire eating beans. The night sparkled with a hint of frost on the limbs of the pines, and the stars above shone white and brilliant. But this was no ordinary trip to the wilds of the Yukon for the sergeant and his long time canine friend. The RCMP officer had been chosen to train cadets, the next generation of brave young men and women who would keep the territory safe and free from crime.

A tall, handsome, young cadet stood next to Sgt. Prestleton. The older man put his arm over the cadet's shoulder, put his face close, and pointed skyward.

"Right there, see those three stars in a row? They are Orion's Belt, and if you have a good imagination, like our ancestors, you will see the rest of the mythical hunter surrounding the belt."

Prince, lapped up the end of his bean dinner, happy for once that he didn't have the responsibility of keeping his master amused. Frankly, Prestleton could be, well, colossally boring, even to a dog.

The sergeant slapped the young man on the shoulder.

"Ah, we've got all night to look at the stars young man, unless you sleep on your stomach, huh? Ha, ha."

Prince groaned a distinctly doggy groan.

That moment a tall, graceful figure entered the scene, and sat next to the campfire.

"Cadet Fox," the sergeant said. "I was just telling Cadet McKenzie here about Orion the Hunter."

Cadet Fox, smiled--removed the RMCP hat, and shook out her beautiful dark hair. She looked up at Sgt. Prestleton, the dancing flames from the campfire reflected in her eyes. She said, "How interesting."

The older man began to stammer. Finally, he managed, "My God."

Prestleton's face showed alarm. "Oh, oh, I'm so sorry for cursing. What on earth made me say something like that? Really, Miss Fox--I mean Cadet Fox, I never ever curse like that. What you must think."

"Quite all right sergeant," she said. "We are in the wilds after all. Bivouacked so to speak. I'm sure we'll hear worse from the criminals."

The officer kept staring at the young woman, ignoring his other trainee who now sat near the campfire.

Prestleton said, "Um, er, indeed. Terrible language from those miscreants, but no excuse, none at all for me. How can I ever apologize enough?"

Cadet Fox smiled.

Prince the Wonder Dog chuckled, a very human chuckle. The dog said, "Well, I'll be damned."

Cadet McKenzie's eyes got wide. "Prince, you talked."

"Don't be silly," the sergeant said. "Dogs don't talk." He sat down next his female trainee.

"So, tell me about the stars," she said.

"While I am being inappropriate Cadet," Sergeant Prestleton said. "May I say, you are stunning."

The moon rose. Shooting stars streaked across the sky. And Cadet Fox, with her big, beautiful eyes looked at the older man, and said, "Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?"

The sergeant blushed.

Cadet McKenzie, unrolled his sleeping roll, lay down, and closed his eyes.

Prince the Wonder Dog set his head on his paws.

The sergeant and his beautiful trainee, leaned back against a log. He pointed up, "So those stars, right there. They form the mythical flying horse Pegasus."

Cadet Fox moved closer to her mentor. "Beautiful," she said.

THE END

Sergeant Prestleton and Prince Discuss Beauty-- Episode Five

Sergeant Prestleton and his Wonder Dog Prince sat around the campfire one night, eating beans. The wilds of the Yukon had exploded into a chorus of wolf calls, the hoots of owls, and the gurgle of the river. The stars seemed to swirl and shoot across the sky. The crickets kept time for the other creatures of the night. The moon sat fat and yellow above the mountains. Usually, the sergeant reveled in such splendor, but tonight, Prince noticed that his master only picked at his beans.




The sergeant and Prince had just that day outfoxed the infamous forger Frank Fanny Forestmedival, thus saving all the fiscal funds of the Frisky Folk Fabulous Furry Orphanage. Life as an officer of the law was good. But poor Sgt. Prestleton seemed not to notice anything.



Prince looked up from his plate of beans. He could take his partner's silence no more.



“Hey, Sarge,” Prince said. “What's wrong with you?”



The sergeant looked up, seemingly startled.



“Wait a minute,” said Prince. “Don't start that crap again. I speak. Wonder Dog. Blah, blah, yada, yada, yada. So on and so forth. How amazing. Yeah, yeah.”



The sergeant sighed. “No, I wasn't going to say anything. I just wasn't like...present, I guess.”



“What's up, Sarge?”



“Love,” said the sergeant.



“The school marm?”



“Gone, married the butcher.”



“Ah, heck, Sarge. She was kind of a—dog—and I don't mean that in a good way.”



The officer tossed down his plate of beans. He sighed again.



Prince smiled. “Hey, how about when we get back home you go see that Frenchy Fifi Ferguson?”



The sergeant opened his eyes wide. “Why Prince, she's a common... a common tart.”



“You betcha,” said Prince. “Got more tricks than Lassie.”



“I don't see such women,” the man said.



“Heard she likes it, human style. Like to sniff around some of that huh, Sarge?”



“Prince please!”



Suddenly, the wilds had gone silent. Even the river seemed to have stopped its flow.



“Just trying to help. Gee sarge, you seem so lonely.”

“Not so lonely Prince. I always have you.”



Prince stared at his master for a long time. He gulped down another mouthful of beans, still watching the sergeant. He then lay on the ground, and tucked his tail.



“I'm sorry I barked at you,” the man said.



It's going to be a long night, thought the dog.



“I'll be okay.”



Prince continued to stare at the man.



“So, Fifi, huh?”



Prince wagged his tail.



“Pretty girl,” the sergeant said. “Very pretty. Can't believe everything you hear, right?”



Prince barked.



Nature seemed to come alive yet again.

Episode Four. Sgt. Prestleton Falls in Love--The Adventures of Sgt. Prestleton of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and His Wonder Dog Prince

Sergeant Prestleson of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and his wonder dog Prince sat around the campfire one night in the wilds of the Yukon. They'd spent the day, hot on the trail of the notorious bandit, Dangerous Dan McGroan. The clouds of stars lit the night sky. The companions ate beans. Wonder dog Prince eyed his friend as the Sergeant picked away at his dinner.

"You know, King," the Sgt. said, "Maybe I'd like to settle down someday soon, maybe get married and raise some children."

King stopped gulping his beans.

"I really like that new school marm in Whitehorse. She's the kind of woman I can imagine marrying."

King snorted.

"She's got beautiful eyes..."

"Sarge," King said. "Are you crazy?"

The sergeant beamed. "King, you spoke!"

"Yeah, I spoke. Remember... Wonder Dog, I can speak... You know all this."

"Of course," the man said. "It's just you keep quiet for such long periods, I just get surprised."

"Yeah, well," said the dog. "Get over it and think. The school marm? Those eyes of hers are colored contacts. And didn't you notice she's kind of cross-eyed. Makes her look goofy."

"No, never really noticed it," the man said. "She's got a beautiful smile..."

"False teeth," said the dog.

"Nice figure..."

"Silicone."

The sergeant blushed. "Nice legs..."

"One of them is wooden."

"Great personality..."

"Prozac."

The sergeant grabbed a stick and poked at the fire. "Why are you so hard on this woman?" Prestleton asked. "I find her very attractive and I like her."

"She's been married three times."

"Stop!" said Prestleton.

"What's the problem?" the dog asked. "I just think you could do better."

Sgt. Prestleton sighed. "But I like this woman."

King shook his head, then returned to gulping his beans.

"You know the difference between a can of beans and a mind?" the sergeant asked.

"Now, you want to play riddles?"

"Just listen," the man said. "The difference between a can of beans and a mind is that when you open the can of beans, they spoil in a day or two. But an open mind never goes bad."

The Wonder dog returned to his plate of beans. Silent now.

And, under the stars, with the moon shining overhead, and the hooting of owls in the distance, Sgt. Prestleton sang this lullabye.

There is no train

To take you away

There is no train

You won't be leaving

There is no train

to take you away

I will greet you

in the morning

No more tears

No more pain

No more fears

There is no train

There is no train

to take you away

Time for dreams

You'll not be roaming

Part III--Sergeant Prestleton and His Wonder Dog Prince Clean Up the Yukon Drug Trade

Sergeant Prestleson of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and his wonder dog Prince sat around the tiny campfire eating beans. The pair had camped on a stony bluff devoid of trees, above the Yukon River. Earlier in the day, the rain came down in cold, heavy drops. A hard frost followed. Sgt. Prestleton and Prince had spent the last week hunting down the nefarious Yukon drug kingpin, Frenchy "Buds" Lopes. While they missed catching Frenchy, they managed to locate all the hidden bales of contraband.

"I'm so cold," Sgt. Prestleton said to Prince. "There's not a scrap of wood here. Bet you're cold too, huh, boy?"

Prince shrugged as convincingly as a malamute could shrug. He felt pretty toasty under his fur.

Sgt. Prestleton began to shiver. Bits of frost began to fly from his hat. He glanced around as if to locate some source of fuel, but sadly, there was nothing to see. "You know, I'm not a drinking man, but I could really go for a cup of cocoa right now."

Prince bent down for another mouthful of beans, and then decided he would curl up around his friend, even if the man's odor repulsed him.

But the Sergeant rose with a grin. "You know, there's all those bales of dried drugs. I'm going to get one from the bottom of the pile and throw it on the fire."

The man fetched a bale. As soon as Sgt. Prestleton tossed it onto the fire, it flared up to a near bonfire. The sergeant moved closer to the blaze, and stretched out his hands. "Ah, this is better," he said, breathing deeply. "Right boy, this is the ticket, right?" The man arose and stood with his face over the top of the flames.

Prince curled into a ball, prepared for sleep.

"Beans!" the man shouted. "I need more beans. How 'bout you boy? You want some beans? I want some beans."

Prince looked up at his friend, then put his head back onto his paws. He heard the man open another can. His companion chuckled to himself. Prince fell to sleep, secure in the notion that his master would now spend the night comfortably.

Was it the sergeant's snoring that awoke him? No, not the snoring. What? The gravel crunched from the weight of a foot. The dog stood at alert. He sniffed the smell of strangers. Where?

He barked to alert his friend, but the sergeant continued to snore.

Prince noticed movement some 50 meters behind Prestleton. To the left came another flash of movement, and to the right. Behind, Prince heard the scrape of someone climbing the bluff.

Although Prince had vowed never to speak as a human again, he called to his man. "Sarge! Hey Sarge, wake up!"

He ran over to his friend and licked his face. "Sarge, come on."

Still the men neared the campsite. Prince recognized the fat face of Lopes.

Sgt. Prestleton snored on without waking. Prince licked his face again. He pawed the man. He even bit his friend's hand. The sergeant snored away.

Prince noticed the gleam of weapons only some 20 meters off now.

"Sarge! Damn! Sarge, wake up! What's wrong with you?"

His friend snored without stirring.

Prince fetched a burning ember from the fire. He shoved it down Prestleton's boot. Prestleton stopped snoring but shook the ember free.

"Damn Sarge! You're gonna get us killed!" Prince lifted his leg and urinated on his partner's face. The sergeant wiped at the wetness, reflexively.

Now the bad men stood around the edge of the campsite.

Prince pawed and bit and licked Prestleton, all without waking him.

"Ahh, ha, ha, ha!" said Lopes. "I'm going to carve up de sergeant into little pieces."

Prince charged back and forth between the four men, bared his teeth, and growled.

All the criminals seemed afraid, but Lopes said, "Don't hurt the nice doggie. I will feed him to my fighting wolves for sport."

Prince now ran back and forth, feigning madness, and awaiting his chance to attack.

The bad men began to poke at him now with their hunting knives, laughing and making sport of poor Prince.

Suddenly, behind the group rose Sgt. Prestleton with his rifle. "Drop 'em boys before I aerate your gizzards."

The men dropped their weapons.

"Good job, Prince," the sergeant said as he began tying the hands of the captured men.

Prince stood guard over the men while the sergeant continued to tie them up.

When the four were finally bond hand and foot around the glimmering fire, Sgt. Prestleton said, "Another good day's work. We really fooled them into thinking I was fast asleep huh? By the way, Prince, your breath is getting a little funky. We might have to get those teeth cleaned. Well, how about some more beans."

Prince sunk to the ground, a little embarrassed.

Fine

Sergeant Prestleson and His Dog Prince-- Prince Speaks English Poorly-- A Very Short Work of Fiction

Sergeant Prestleson of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and his wonder dog Prince sat around the campfire one night in the wilds of the Yukon. A cold fog clung to the tops of the pines. Sergeant Prestleton ate the remains of a can of beans. His dog Prince also had beans in his bowl. They had been on the trail of the outlaw Frenchie Maurice Noir for six days. Frenchie had robbed an old miner and his granddaughter Kelly of their life savings. Prestleton meant to get it back.



The howl of wolves pierced the still night.



"I'm glad I have you nearby boy," said Prestleton to his wonder dog Prince. "I can count on you to protect me."



Prince looked up from his beans. Prince said, "Protect you from what?"



The sergeant started. "You spoke!" he said.



"What do you expect?" Prince said. "I'm a wonder dog."



"I just never knew," said Prestleton.



"Yeah, well, get back to the point. What do you expect me to protect you from?"



"That's not speaking English well," said the man. "One shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition."



A snarl curled on the dog's lips. "I'm a wonder dog," he said. "Not an English professor. Nonetheless, I suppose you think I will save you from the jaws of my brethren, the wolves."



"Well of course," said the sergeant. "You are my dog. My bosom companion. Mon ami. Pal. Buddy."



"Despite my wonder status," said Prince, "I am still a dog. A canine, but one step removed from the wild. I may join the wolves and have you for dinner. After all, beans are not very dignified fare for a wonder dog."



Prestleton frowned at this. A tear formed in the corner of his left eye. "But you have been my friend for years. My compadre. My mate. My..."



"Cut the crap!" said Prince. "How is it that you see predatory humans all the time-- that you view their inability to rise above the savage, and yet a dog, wonder or no, is expected to ignore his beastly instincts and save you, naive young fool that you are."



The man stared at his dog with disbelief. "But your acts of bravery... Your kindness... How do you explain these things if you are not my friend? My partner?"



"So now I am your partner, huh?" said the dog.



"For all these years," said Prestleton.



The dog stared at the man for nearly a minute. Then a smile came onto his muzzle. "I'm just messing with you Sarge," the dog said. "Would I let you be eaten by a pack of wolves?"



The Mountie sunk back onto the boulder at his back. "You really got me," he said. "You really, really got me. I thought you were serious."



"Don't be silly," said Prince. "You're my buddy. Besides, wolves are a bunch of Philistines."



"That's my boy," said the sergeant. "But all this time you could talk. Why didn't you let me know sooner? Think of the conversations we could've had on lonely nights such as these."



"Who can talk?" said the dog, and he went back to his beans and never spoke another word.

8/6/10 by Frank Criscenti

Sarge Gabe--Army Dog

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Homepage >News Archives > ArticleHero dog: After 170 combat patrols, K-9 lives a life of leisure

May 3, 2012



By Wallace McBride, Fort Jackson Leader







Gabe1Gabe shows affection for his owner, Staff Sgt. Chuck Shuck, a drill sergeant leader with the U.S. Army Drill Sergeant School.

Gabe2Gabe retired from the military as a sergeant first class. During his time in Iraq to sniff out weapons and explosives, the dog received three Army Commendation Medals and one Army Achievement Medal.



Gabe3Gabe, seen napping above, has more than 11,000 followers on Facebook, and is a candidate for the 2012 Hero Dog Awards.



Gabe4Gabe receives his medal as the American Kennel Club's Military Working Dog of the Year in 2008.

Related Links

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FORT JACKSON, S.C. -- These days, Gabe lives a life of leisure, spending most of his days snoozing on the couch. A few years ago, his time was spent working under the scorching Iraq sun, trying to find explosives, ammunition and other weapons before they could be used against him. He racked up 26 "finds" during the 170 combat patrols he took part in, the largest of which was a cache of rounds discovered on the banks of the Tigris River.



Retiring at the rank of sergeant first class, Gabe is 9 years old.



And he's a dog.



"When he's working he's very focused," said Staff Sgt. Chuck Shuck, a drill sergeant leader at the Drill Sergant School. Shuck is Gabe's former handler and now, in the animal's retirement, owner. "He's getting a little older now, so he's pretty docile. He still chases squirrels in my yard at home, but now he pretty much just lies around the house."



Despite the success he'd eventually rack up during his time in Iraq, Gabe wasn't a welcome presence when he and Shuck first arrived. Using an animal to sniff out weapons and explosives was a new concept to the Soldiers tasked to put him to work, and Shuck said Soldiers weren't excited about using an animal during already tense searches for weapons and explosives.



"On our fifth mission we started finding things," he said. "When we found a cache of 36 122-mm rounds, they couldn't get enough of us. He was the most productive dog in the Iraqi theater during that one-year period."



Not all of the finds involved direct discoveries of weapons, though. On a few occasions, the dog directed Soldiers to look a little deeper into the backgrounds of the people they were searching.



"We'd find a lot of pistols and, sometimes, find nothing in the vehicles," he said. "But we'd test the drivers and there'd be residue of explosives, C4 or TNT on their hands."



Shuck said Gabe serves as an example of what communities lose when animals fail to find homes at shelters. Originally a pound puppy from Houston, Gabe was picked up and sent to school by the Army.



Shuck was paired with Gabe and another dog in 2006, with Gabe passing his final evaluation in Numa, Az., after five months of training. A few weeks later the two found themselves on the ground in Iraq.



"Gabe left Iraq with three Army Commendation Medals and an Army Achievement Medal from the different units, and about 40 coins of excellence," Shuck said. "Me, as his handler, I only got two."



Gabe received the 2008 Heroic Military Working Dog Award Medal from the American Kennel Club, a national award that included animals from all armed forces. But Gabe and Shuck briefly parted ways when they returned to America, with the dog sent to Lackland Air Force Base, Texas, where he was paired up with another handler.



The working relationship didn't last long, though, because Gabe refused to work with his new handler.



"I got to adopt him and he's been living with me since July, 2009," Shuck said. "At home he's eating tennis balls and lying on the couch, and he's gained about 25 pounds."



While Gabe is no longer working, he's staying active in other areas, and currently has more than 11,000 followers on his Facebook page. He's visited wounded Soldiers in hospitals, and has maintained a pen pal program with students in Georgia.



"We like to educate kids on respect, and staying in school," Shuck said. "We talk to them about the Army Values in general and sent each of the kids Army dog tags. And my Soldiers in basic training wrote to them what Army Values meant to them."



"Team Gabe" is currently mobilized to help the dog win the nationwide 2012 Hero Dog Awards from the American Humane Association. He's already collected 30,000 votes, Shuck said.



The Hero Dog Contest has two stages. The first round lasts until June 30 and allows people to vote once every 24 hours. If Gabe wins his category, then he will compete against seven other dogs from other categories starting July 1.



The Hero Dog Awards were created in 2010 to celebrate the relationships between dogs and people. Hundreds of dogs from all 50 states were nominated and some 400,000 votes were cast by the American public, culminating in the selection of eight canine finalists. Panels of past celebrity judges have included Betty White, Whoopi Goldberg, Mark Hamill and Jillian Michaels.



"Last year, Gabe was the runner-up in our category," Shuck said. "We didn't have the following that we have this year."



He said Gabe is an example of cost-effective resources the Army could put to use every day.



"You can take a pound puppy and make him into a war dog, train him to go out there and do some great things," he said. "All of these dogs that are getting put to sleep in shelters, maybe some of them we could use as military dogs. Rather than going out and buying these dogs, why not look for labs, golden retrievers or German Shepherds in pounds and shelters and start using them?"



To vote for Gabe in the 2012 Hero Dog Awards, visit www.herodogawards.org.

Find Gabe on Facebook at www.facebook.com/VoteGabe2012



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