Look, I took over this blog from Alpha. He's not keeping it up. So, in addition to chasing those damn squirrels, lizards, gophers, and an occasional rat, I'm forced to write this blog. No easy task with paws, let me tell you. No walk again today. If Alpha gets any more lazy Mrs. (the real Alpha) will have to leave him kibble next to the bed. I barely have time to bark at the garbage man, and he's inside doing nothing. In case you don't know anything about me, Alpha and Mrs. and Lauren bailed me outa jail eight years ago. That's 56 years ago for my math-challenged canine companions. I was pretty skittish then, but I'm the ruler of my yard now. I've taken down possums, gophers, rats, lizards, and even a bird. Well, I found a bird anyway. He was coughing up blood so I put him out of his misery.
And I'm smart. You know, when Alpha and Mrs. won't let me outside at night (they worry about me and skunks and even the odd mountain lion we hear rumors about) I crap in their bathroom. Yeah, just like they do. Now, that's freaking brilliant! Roll over my haunches. Let's see Lassie figure that one out. Anyway, I'm just trying to give you a little info about me as a person. I'm smart, brave, and I can ad lib a real ruckus if some intruder comes to the door trying to sign up the humans to save the earth. Works really well, Alpha or Mrs. holding me back and the brownies leaving a trail of cookies at the sight of me. Yeah! Stay tuned folks. This blog is gonna be great now that I took over.